I was raised to believe that the success you will have in the future is directly related to the grades you get in school.
I also grew up believing that the amount of love a person receives from their parents is directly related to the success that they have.
So although the love I feel I get from my parents does not directly relate to the grades I get in school, deep down I know they are.
That's all I guess.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Hey Mama - Kanye West
Seven years old, caught you with tears in your eyes
Cuz a nigga cheatin, telling you lies, then I started to cry
As we knelt on the kitchen floor
I said mommy Imma love you till you don't hurt no more
And when I'm older, you aint gotta work no more
And Imma get you that mansion that we couldn't afford
it's a good song
Cuz a nigga cheatin, telling you lies, then I started to cry
As we knelt on the kitchen floor
I said mommy Imma love you till you don't hurt no more
And when I'm older, you aint gotta work no more
And Imma get you that mansion that we couldn't afford
it's a good song
Monday, November 2, 2009
Shit happens.
Once upon on time there was a shy boy. He likes to keep his emotions and problems to himself because being outspoken just wasn't his thing. However, just because he doesn't express his emotions, it doesn't mean he's emotionless. In fact, he's actually really sympathetic. He spends a big chunk of his time listening to the problems of all his friends. He spends late nights trying to comfort people that doesn't even know the smallest thing about him.
As time goes on, the shy boy was known as the "nice boy". We all know who that is, we all have a friend that's like that. The funny thing about nice boys is that they are TOO nice. They don't mind wasting their time on people that only know their first and maybe last name. These kind of boys tend to get overlooked so it was inevitable for this shy boy to be invisible.
One day the shy boy met a shy girl. Similar to him, she didn't like to express her feelings either. She kept quiet and nobody knew what she was thinking. Because of that, the shy boy never really talked to the shy girl because neither one was making the first move.
So shy boy decided to make a change. He's going to to be more outgoing. He's going to be more expressive. He's going to stop being invisible and make the world notice him. He wanted the shy girl to notice him.
Over the course of the next few weeks, the shy boy started to do things he's never done before. He started dressing in clothes he never thought of wearing. He started speaking in a completely different language. With this, he felt like he's confident enough to approach the shy girl.
And so he approached her. He approached her to only find out that she's not into the type of boy that does the things he did those last few weeks. She wasn't into the boys that dress the way he did. She wasn't into the boys who say the things he said.
Murphy's Law : "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
Shit happens.
As time goes on, the shy boy was known as the "nice boy". We all know who that is, we all have a friend that's like that. The funny thing about nice boys is that they are TOO nice. They don't mind wasting their time on people that only know their first and maybe last name. These kind of boys tend to get overlooked so it was inevitable for this shy boy to be invisible.
One day the shy boy met a shy girl. Similar to him, she didn't like to express her feelings either. She kept quiet and nobody knew what she was thinking. Because of that, the shy boy never really talked to the shy girl because neither one was making the first move.
So shy boy decided to make a change. He's going to to be more outgoing. He's going to be more expressive. He's going to stop being invisible and make the world notice him. He wanted the shy girl to notice him.
Over the course of the next few weeks, the shy boy started to do things he's never done before. He started dressing in clothes he never thought of wearing. He started speaking in a completely different language. With this, he felt like he's confident enough to approach the shy girl.
And so he approached her. He approached her to only find out that she's not into the type of boy that does the things he did those last few weeks. She wasn't into the boys that dress the way he did. She wasn't into the boys who say the things he said.
Murphy's Law : "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
Shit happens.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Should I not sleep so I can stay here longer?
So you know that feeling you get when you realize your project is due the next day and you haven't finished yet? That feeling you get in your stomach. It doesn't hurt, it just feels...bad? I don't know how else to describe it, maybe it's a panic attack. Who knows, but that's what I'm having now...I think?
It's time for me to move into the dorms of Berkeley. I don't have anything packed. Literally nothing. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating, I have bed sheets and a picture. Haaha... -_____-'
But I don't think that's the reason why I'm feeling "anxiety"
It's probably not the fact that I won't see my high school friends again either. Not because I don't like them, it's just the fact that Berkeley is so close. I'm practically a 15 minute BART ride away.
I think I'm feeling this way because something big is going to happen. I'm moving out from my home.
Haha, I don't even know how to blog right now, there's just so much I have to say.
Today, my sister said to me "You know Tim, once you move out, it's not going to be the same anymore. You're going to visit on the weekend, but it's only going to be temporary, you're just going to go back to school the next day."
Hm, I guess that's all I have to say right now. Or at least all the stuff I can put into words.
It's time for me to move into the dorms of Berkeley. I don't have anything packed. Literally nothing. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating, I have bed sheets and a picture. Haaha... -_____-'
But I don't think that's the reason why I'm feeling "anxiety"
It's probably not the fact that I won't see my high school friends again either. Not because I don't like them, it's just the fact that Berkeley is so close. I'm practically a 15 minute BART ride away.
I think I'm feeling this way because something big is going to happen. I'm moving out from my home.
Haha, I don't even know how to blog right now, there's just so much I have to say.
Today, my sister said to me "You know Tim, once you move out, it's not going to be the same anymore. You're going to visit on the weekend, but it's only going to be temporary, you're just going to go back to school the next day."
Hm, I guess that's all I have to say right now. Or at least all the stuff I can put into words.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
We got problems
I remember watching this video a few years back, I would put the video up, but it's not that important. There was one line in the video that I found to be very true, although it was said in a joking context.
"You have pressure, I have pressure, we all have pressure"
And there was this other quote, I'm pretty sure I'm misquoting it but it goes something like
"We're not judged by the problems we have, we're judged by how we handle them."
Basically, everyone has problems, big or small, and we all need to deal with it some way, some how. And sometimes, there is nothing you can do to fix the problem, so what do people do?
Some eat ice cream, some hit things, some run miles, and some sleep.
Most of us do these things to get our minds off our troubles.
What do I do?
I skip rocks.
This is weird because I have never skipped a single rock as a child. The closest thing I remember that resembles skipping rocks is when I was in elementary school, my parents would take me to this DimSum place on a peninsula, and after we finish eating, I would go out to the shore to throw rocks as far as I can.
As I grew older, I watched several movies where rock skipping was made to look SOOOOOO COOOOOOL! I just HAD to learn it.
So as a teenager with more freedom, whenever I had the opportunity, I would go to the local duck pond, lake, beach, whatever, and just start throwing rocks.
The more I went, the better I was at it.
So what's the point of this whole anecdote of me throwing rocks as a kid?
Well, for me, during the short time I'm at the lake or pond, all I can think of is skipping the rock as many times as I can. That's it.
All the stresses from school, family, and friends seem to disappear. They didn't matter. All that was in my head was "find a flat rock, throw it!"
We all need that "escape". So instead of eating a tub of chocolate ice cream or crying yourself to sleep, I suggest everyone to give rock skipping a chance. In a way, you're literally throwing away your problems! ;D
"You have pressure, I have pressure, we all have pressure"
And there was this other quote, I'm pretty sure I'm misquoting it but it goes something like
"We're not judged by the problems we have, we're judged by how we handle them."
Basically, everyone has problems, big or small, and we all need to deal with it some way, some how. And sometimes, there is nothing you can do to fix the problem, so what do people do?
Some eat ice cream, some hit things, some run miles, and some sleep.
Most of us do these things to get our minds off our troubles.
What do I do?
I skip rocks.
This is weird because I have never skipped a single rock as a child. The closest thing I remember that resembles skipping rocks is when I was in elementary school, my parents would take me to this DimSum place on a peninsula, and after we finish eating, I would go out to the shore to throw rocks as far as I can.
As I grew older, I watched several movies where rock skipping was made to look SOOOOOO COOOOOOL! I just HAD to learn it.
So as a teenager with more freedom, whenever I had the opportunity, I would go to the local duck pond, lake, beach, whatever, and just start throwing rocks.
The more I went, the better I was at it.
So what's the point of this whole anecdote of me throwing rocks as a kid?
Well, for me, during the short time I'm at the lake or pond, all I can think of is skipping the rock as many times as I can. That's it.
All the stresses from school, family, and friends seem to disappear. They didn't matter. All that was in my head was "find a flat rock, throw it!"
We all need that "escape". So instead of eating a tub of chocolate ice cream or crying yourself to sleep, I suggest everyone to give rock skipping a chance. In a way, you're literally throwing away your problems! ;D
Monday, July 13, 2009
Re: i want to love again
This is a response to my friend John's blog. (http://killerapathy.xanga.com/707095980/i-want-to-love-again/)
Well, originally it was just for John, but since summer meets the half way mark, I realize that I will probably be far away from those I spent my high school years with, so in a way, this blog will be universal. But because everyone is different, not everything will apply. So deep down, this is still for John Lee, but for the most part, it applies to what I have to say to everyone I've loved (whether it's romantic love, bromance, friendships, or teammates) and made a difference in my life.
Although your physical ties to your past will be broken when you move to Florida, your emotional ties will always be there. No matter how far you go, the people from your past will always be with you. The experiences you had with certain people has changed the person you are, whether you realize it or not. So when you're in Florida, 3000 miles away, the people you knew in the bay area will show up in the way you act, the way you speak, the decisions you make. You will NEVER be able to get away, no matter how far you go. This also mean you'll never be alone. When things are bringing you down, you can always call, email, instant message a friend from high school and no matter how little you knew that person, they will be more than willing to listen to your problems and give the best advice possible. I know I will be there to give you whatever advice I have to give.
We've argued and antagonized each other in the past, but you helped me grow. You have changed my life, and my moral compass. Many times when I face a dilemma, I would think "What would John Lee do?" no matter how corny that sounds, it's true. John, you were a great person, teammate, friend, and inspiration to me.
Because of that, I know you'll get far in life. You are the only person I know that steps out of the conventional mold to pursue his/her own dreams. For that, I respect you.
I hope we keep in touch, you are definitely a person who is one in a million.
I'll end this with just a few more words.
"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"
-John Lennon
Your time in the Bay is diminished to a few weeks. But these few weeks will seem like an eternity when you're down to just a few hours. Cherish these days. Make the most out of it, because when you're busy planning for the future, you are missing the present. And sometimes, life will throw you a curve ball and disrupt all your plans. It'll be as if you've never planned at all.
So do what you feel like doing, but don't be reckless.
LOVE YOU JOHN LEE(roy)
Well, originally it was just for John, but since summer meets the half way mark, I realize that I will probably be far away from those I spent my high school years with, so in a way, this blog will be universal. But because everyone is different, not everything will apply. So deep down, this is still for John Lee, but for the most part, it applies to what I have to say to everyone I've loved (whether it's romantic love, bromance, friendships, or teammates) and made a difference in my life.
Although your physical ties to your past will be broken when you move to Florida, your emotional ties will always be there. No matter how far you go, the people from your past will always be with you. The experiences you had with certain people has changed the person you are, whether you realize it or not. So when you're in Florida, 3000 miles away, the people you knew in the bay area will show up in the way you act, the way you speak, the decisions you make. You will NEVER be able to get away, no matter how far you go. This also mean you'll never be alone. When things are bringing you down, you can always call, email, instant message a friend from high school and no matter how little you knew that person, they will be more than willing to listen to your problems and give the best advice possible. I know I will be there to give you whatever advice I have to give.
We've argued and antagonized each other in the past, but you helped me grow. You have changed my life, and my moral compass. Many times when I face a dilemma, I would think "What would John Lee do?" no matter how corny that sounds, it's true. John, you were a great person, teammate, friend, and inspiration to me.
Because of that, I know you'll get far in life. You are the only person I know that steps out of the conventional mold to pursue his/her own dreams. For that, I respect you.
I hope we keep in touch, you are definitely a person who is one in a million.
I'll end this with just a few more words.
"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"
-John Lennon
Your time in the Bay is diminished to a few weeks. But these few weeks will seem like an eternity when you're down to just a few hours. Cherish these days. Make the most out of it, because when you're busy planning for the future, you are missing the present. And sometimes, life will throw you a curve ball and disrupt all your plans. It'll be as if you've never planned at all.
So do what you feel like doing, but don't be reckless.
LOVE YOU JOHN LEE(roy)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
CalSO
Hm, I had my orientation at Cal earlier this week. The experience was like no other.
My alarm went off at 6:30. I slept through it.
Me, being the smart guy I am ;], I set another alarm to go off at 6:45.
When that one went off, I woke up...drowsy.
I took a quick shower and ran to pack my stuff. I was all ready by 7:00 and I was heading towards Berkeley.
At 7:13, I realize I didn't bring any paper to take notes. Oh well.
Got to Berkeley at 7:30, JUST IN TIME! Or so I thought... Turns out that sign-in's last until 9. -___-
So I did the usual, checked in, got my dorm key, checked out my dorm, met my roommates, and it was off the breakfast!
I got to admit, breakfast was mediocre.
After breakfast, everyone at the orientation went to the Welcoming Address. We had to sit with our designated group. This was when I realize how easy it was to talk to people at CalSO. I turned to the person sitting next to me, introduced myself, started small talk, and yeah, it was cool. Ahah.
After the Welcoming Address, people broke off to their designated groups and the tour began!
We did some ice breaker exercises. My group did something called "Get Jiggy With It". Everyone got in a circle and took turns saying our names and then doing a dance move that has the same movement as the number of syllables in our names. Unfortunately, on my name tag, I put Tim, so my "dance move" was a single fist pump. (Looking back now, I wish I did a pelvic thrust)
Ah, I forgot to mention, my first friend in CalSO was this girl name Jamie. We pretty much stayed together during the morning of the first day. She's really cool, she plays tennis and thought I was a Korean basketball player name Andrew Kim. What What.
During lunch, I went on to talk about the usual, stuff like how Pokemon: The First Movie made me ALMOST cry. The part when Ash turns into stone is epic.
This is where I met a really cool guy from Bulgaria, named Mario.
Anyway after a lot of tours and playing ice breakers, like Ninja [I will explain the game to whoever asks me], everyone broke off to groups based on their intended majors. Jamie was doing Pre-Business and I was doing Pre-Med, so we separated [Insert Dramatic Korean Drama Music]
-Wait a minute, I think I messed up the order, I think we played Ninja, Lunch, then broke off to majors. Oh well, you get the point-
So when I was walking towards the Pre-Med group, I met this girl name Jennifer. She's weird. We were separated from the rest of the group because she got us lost. (Not really) She likes to break dance and watch concerts.
I hanged out with her for most of the afternoon. But during dinner, we split because she went to go to other things.
Dinner was the best. Chicken + Pizza. Yum!
After dinner, there was a "First Year Experience" Presentation. It was given by a few current Berkeley Students. They talked about their first year. I sat with this girl name Becky. She's from a town near Malibu. She almost barfed, minutes after this photo was taken.
At some point, I met this girl from LA, Kate Kim! Unfortunately, I didnt get a picture with her. She's a tiny little korean girl with glasses. What else is there to say?
After this last presentation, I tagged along with KateKim and the rest of her SoCal posse to explore Berkeley. We walked all the way to Frat Row just so we can walk back. Wtf right? Lol.
When we got back, we all went to the 7th floor. This guy, I cant remember his name, but he had a muffler on, busted out a laptop and they started karaoke-ing. At first everyone was too shy to sing, I wanted to tell them to put some Kanye West or Taylor Swift on so I can own it. But for some reason I didn't.
I left early to go back to my room because I realize I didn't plan my schedule at all!
After frantically looking for classes and talking to my roommates, I finally slept at 2:00AM.
Day 2. I don't have much to say. We just signed up for classes. Learned a few cheers. Did a few more tours.
One thing about Day 2 though, the Closing Ceremony was amazing. The video presentation they had made me wish CalSO lasted forever. Maybe it was the enthusiasm of the crowd, or maybe it was just the sad music, but it made me believe that CalSO was a GREAT experience. People were easy to talk to. You don't have to worry about people ignoring you. Everyone is willing to get to know you. All you have to say is "Hi, my name is Tim" and you just started a conversation.
CalSO was awesome, I met awesome people, and I cant wait to experience the awesome Cal Berkeley!
I'M A CAL STUDENT!
Darn, webcam inverted it. Oh well, you get the idea!
My alarm went off at 6:30. I slept through it.
Me, being the smart guy I am ;], I set another alarm to go off at 6:45.
When that one went off, I woke up...drowsy.
I took a quick shower and ran to pack my stuff. I was all ready by 7:00 and I was heading towards Berkeley.
At 7:13, I realize I didn't bring any paper to take notes. Oh well.
Got to Berkeley at 7:30, JUST IN TIME! Or so I thought... Turns out that sign-in's last until 9. -___-
So I did the usual, checked in, got my dorm key, checked out my dorm, met my roommates, and it was off the breakfast!
I got to admit, breakfast was mediocre.
After breakfast, everyone at the orientation went to the Welcoming Address. We had to sit with our designated group. This was when I realize how easy it was to talk to people at CalSO. I turned to the person sitting next to me, introduced myself, started small talk, and yeah, it was cool. Ahah.
After the Welcoming Address, people broke off to their designated groups and the tour began!
We did some ice breaker exercises. My group did something called "Get Jiggy With It". Everyone got in a circle and took turns saying our names and then doing a dance move that has the same movement as the number of syllables in our names. Unfortunately, on my name tag, I put Tim, so my "dance move" was a single fist pump. (Looking back now, I wish I did a pelvic thrust)
Ah, I forgot to mention, my first friend in CalSO was this girl name Jamie. We pretty much stayed together during the morning of the first day. She's really cool, she plays tennis and thought I was a Korean basketball player name Andrew Kim. What What.
During lunch, I went on to talk about the usual, stuff like how Pokemon: The First Movie made me ALMOST cry. The part when Ash turns into stone is epic.
This is where I met a really cool guy from Bulgaria, named Mario.
Anyway after a lot of tours and playing ice breakers, like Ninja [I will explain the game to whoever asks me], everyone broke off to groups based on their intended majors. Jamie was doing Pre-Business and I was doing Pre-Med, so we separated [Insert Dramatic Korean Drama Music]
-Wait a minute, I think I messed up the order, I think we played Ninja, Lunch, then broke off to majors. Oh well, you get the point-
So when I was walking towards the Pre-Med group, I met this girl name Jennifer. She's weird. We were separated from the rest of the group because she got us lost. (Not really) She likes to break dance and watch concerts.
I hanged out with her for most of the afternoon. But during dinner, we split because she went to go to other things.
Dinner was the best. Chicken + Pizza. Yum!
After dinner, there was a "First Year Experience" Presentation. It was given by a few current Berkeley Students. They talked about their first year. I sat with this girl name Becky. She's from a town near Malibu. She almost barfed, minutes after this photo was taken.
At some point, I met this girl from LA, Kate Kim! Unfortunately, I didnt get a picture with her. She's a tiny little korean girl with glasses. What else is there to say?
After this last presentation, I tagged along with KateKim and the rest of her SoCal posse to explore Berkeley. We walked all the way to Frat Row just so we can walk back. Wtf right? Lol.
When we got back, we all went to the 7th floor. This guy, I cant remember his name, but he had a muffler on, busted out a laptop and they started karaoke-ing. At first everyone was too shy to sing, I wanted to tell them to put some Kanye West or Taylor Swift on so I can own it. But for some reason I didn't.
I left early to go back to my room because I realize I didn't plan my schedule at all!
After frantically looking for classes and talking to my roommates, I finally slept at 2:00AM.
Day 2. I don't have much to say. We just signed up for classes. Learned a few cheers. Did a few more tours.
One thing about Day 2 though, the Closing Ceremony was amazing. The video presentation they had made me wish CalSO lasted forever. Maybe it was the enthusiasm of the crowd, or maybe it was just the sad music, but it made me believe that CalSO was a GREAT experience. People were easy to talk to. You don't have to worry about people ignoring you. Everyone is willing to get to know you. All you have to say is "Hi, my name is Tim" and you just started a conversation.
CalSO was awesome, I met awesome people, and I cant wait to experience the awesome Cal Berkeley!
I'M A CAL STUDENT!
Darn, webcam inverted it. Oh well, you get the idea!
Monday, May 25, 2009
The girl in the car
For Memorial Day weekend, I went to Merced to visit some family friends. During the time I was there, nothing special happened. I guess the fact that I drove there can be considered "special". It was fun driving in an open road, even if it's for 2 whole hours.
When I got there, all the kids wet to go watch a movie, it happened to be Angels & Demons. If you haven't watched it yet, don't. Save yourself a few bucks. The movie was terrible!
Anyway, on our way back, my mom wanted to drive. So I sat shotgun. I fell asleep for most of the ride home, until the traffic started to build up. When I woke up, the traffic was heavy. At one point, the cars stopped.
And for this brief moment, I noticed something about the car next to us. There was this girl just staring at me. Maybe she was just looking into space and zoning out. Maybe she was trying to initiate a staring contest..
If it was the latter, she won. As soon as we locked eyes [not romantically], I try to put up a smile, and hold the eye contact. It didn't happen. I was able to put up a half smile, the kind where you close your lips and just tighten your cheeks. I held the glance for no more than two seconds, and I was broken. I looked back to my sister to ask for my laptop. [I didn't really want the laptop]
She said no, and I sat back straight.
The cars were still stagnant, not moving.
The car next to me was still there.
She was still looking.
I felt this weird feeling, as if I was paralyzed. I COULD NOT shift my head to meet her eyes.
What happened? I don't know.
For what seemed to be an eternity, the cars finally started moving.
I felt relieved.
Now, how did this happen. How did a person, that I have never met or will ever see again, make me feel like that.
Tim's answer: I care WAAY too much about other people's opinion.
P.S. Has anyone else have a similar experience?
When I got there, all the kids wet to go watch a movie, it happened to be Angels & Demons. If you haven't watched it yet, don't. Save yourself a few bucks. The movie was terrible!
Anyway, on our way back, my mom wanted to drive. So I sat shotgun. I fell asleep for most of the ride home, until the traffic started to build up. When I woke up, the traffic was heavy. At one point, the cars stopped.
And for this brief moment, I noticed something about the car next to us. There was this girl just staring at me. Maybe she was just looking into space and zoning out. Maybe she was trying to initiate a staring contest..
If it was the latter, she won. As soon as we locked eyes [not romantically], I try to put up a smile, and hold the eye contact. It didn't happen. I was able to put up a half smile, the kind where you close your lips and just tighten your cheeks. I held the glance for no more than two seconds, and I was broken. I looked back to my sister to ask for my laptop. [I didn't really want the laptop]
She said no, and I sat back straight.
The cars were still stagnant, not moving.
The car next to me was still there.
She was still looking.
I felt this weird feeling, as if I was paralyzed. I COULD NOT shift my head to meet her eyes.
What happened? I don't know.
For what seemed to be an eternity, the cars finally started moving.
I felt relieved.
Now, how did this happen. How did a person, that I have never met or will ever see again, make me feel like that.
Tim's answer: I care WAAY too much about other people's opinion.
P.S. Has anyone else have a similar experience?
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Yeah, you're right. I don't understand.
So I was talking to my friend the other day. This is his situation.
He likes this girl and he talked to her for a couple weeks. Everything was going smoothly. She's really friendly and is an easy person to talk to. Getting subtle hints, he decides to take her to an ice cream parlor to hang out. For some dumb reason, he thought it would be a good idea to ask her to prom. The girl says no. She gives a list of excuses but in the end, my friend still got rejected.
So now he asks me what he should do.
I said, she was probably just nice to you because that's just the way she is. She saw you as just a friend. What you should do now is continue to talk to her and give subtle hints. If she gives you short answers and it seems like she's ignoring you, that means she's not interested and she doesn't want to lead you on.
BUT if she continues to talk to you in a friendly way even though she knows you like her, well that either means she likes you back or she's being a jerk and is leading you on purposely.
Did I give him good advice?
Right now, I would hate to believe that girls would purposely lead guys on when they have no interest in them even though the girls know that the guy likes them. You know?
He likes this girl and he talked to her for a couple weeks. Everything was going smoothly. She's really friendly and is an easy person to talk to. Getting subtle hints, he decides to take her to an ice cream parlor to hang out. For some dumb reason, he thought it would be a good idea to ask her to prom. The girl says no. She gives a list of excuses but in the end, my friend still got rejected.
So now he asks me what he should do.
I said, she was probably just nice to you because that's just the way she is. She saw you as just a friend. What you should do now is continue to talk to her and give subtle hints. If she gives you short answers and it seems like she's ignoring you, that means she's not interested and she doesn't want to lead you on.
BUT if she continues to talk to you in a friendly way even though she knows you like her, well that either means she likes you back or she's being a jerk and is leading you on purposely.
Did I give him good advice?
Right now, I would hate to believe that girls would purposely lead guys on when they have no interest in them even though the girls know that the guy likes them. You know?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I guess I'm a hypocrite.
When someone does something that bothers me, I try to say as logical as possible.
I ask myself, "Would you have done the same thing?" "Have you done the same thing?"
Well, it really depends on the situation. And for this situation, I answered no.
I just don't know what's going on. Do I want to know what's going on?
Oh well, jealousy sucks.
So I'm done, I guess.
ttyl
When someone does something that bothers me, I try to say as logical as possible.
I ask myself, "Would you have done the same thing?" "Have you done the same thing?"
Well, it really depends on the situation. And for this situation, I answered no.
I just don't know what's going on. Do I want to know what's going on?
Oh well, jealousy sucks.
So I'm done, I guess.
ttyl
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I couldn't save the cheerleader. =/
Damn. We lost.
More importantly, I lost.
It's true that I wasn't the only one that lost, 3 other people did too.
But if I had just won, we, as a team, would of won.
Why did I have to lose.
I've lost before. But I never really cared about it until now.
Maybe it's because this time, it mattered the most.
I didn't just let my partner down, I let down my whole team.
And to be honest, the feeling sucks.
The team has lost before. But in the matches we lost, I won my own games.
I remember telling the people who beat themselves up for losing,
"Stop being a fucking drama queen. Everyone's lost before, it's not a big deal, the world keeps turning. Besides, don't act like your lost was all that mattered. Shit, you're not the center of the universe. Not everything is about you. Stop hogging the blame."
It just doesn't make me feel better =/
Michael Jordan said,
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
I feel bad because I feel so helpless. If I had a second chance, will I be able to succeed?
And that's what sucks the most.
More importantly, I lost.
It's true that I wasn't the only one that lost, 3 other people did too.
But if I had just won, we, as a team, would of won.
Why did I have to lose.
I've lost before. But I never really cared about it until now.
Maybe it's because this time, it mattered the most.
I didn't just let my partner down, I let down my whole team.
And to be honest, the feeling sucks.
The team has lost before. But in the matches we lost, I won my own games.
I remember telling the people who beat themselves up for losing,
"Stop being a fucking drama queen. Everyone's lost before, it's not a big deal, the world keeps turning. Besides, don't act like your lost was all that mattered. Shit, you're not the center of the universe. Not everything is about you. Stop hogging the blame."
It just doesn't make me feel better =/
Michael Jordan said,
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
I feel bad because I feel so helpless. If I had a second chance, will I be able to succeed?
And that's what sucks the most.
re⋅sil⋅ience –noun
1. ability to recover readily from adversity.Saturday, March 7, 2009
All right!
Okay, let's get down to business.
For the past couple weeks, I've been awesome.
A couple months ago, I was saying/acting like I am the center of everyone's life.
Now I am, and it feels great!
Knowing that people have nothing better to talk about except for talking about me is so cool. Make me your topic. =]
On to tennis.
I've been playing a lot more lately. I learned some new stuff, I forgot some old stuff.
I'll be at my prime soon, I hope. Haha.
Yesterday was pretty cool! We beat CV for the first time in so many years!
We won 6 matches and lost only 1!
My match was okay I guess.
I was partnered with Brian Liang. We played Doubles2
But yeah, we won the first set 6-3 and right before we started the second set, our opponents forfeited. NICE! Win by default! Lol!
Anyway, my life has been simpler, kind of.
On Tuesday, we are playing against Moreau! Wish me luck, haha.
I guess I'll post a more meaningful blog next time.
Thanks for reading =]
IamTimothy
For the past couple weeks, I've been awesome.
A couple months ago, I was saying/acting like I am the center of everyone's life.
Now I am, and it feels great!
Knowing that people have nothing better to talk about except for talking about me is so cool. Make me your topic. =]
On to tennis.
I've been playing a lot more lately. I learned some new stuff, I forgot some old stuff.
I'll be at my prime soon, I hope. Haha.
Yesterday was pretty cool! We beat CV for the first time in so many years!
We won 6 matches and lost only 1!
My match was okay I guess.
I was partnered with Brian Liang. We played Doubles2
But yeah, we won the first set 6-3 and right before we started the second set, our opponents forfeited. NICE! Win by default! Lol!
Anyway, my life has been simpler, kind of.
On Tuesday, we are playing against Moreau! Wish me luck, haha.
I guess I'll post a more meaningful blog next time.
Thanks for reading =]
IamTimothy
Friday, February 27, 2009
Vague Rant. Well, kind of.
Lol
All my friends are assholes.
But it's okay, they don't do it on purpose ;D
=[
All I know is that if someone wants something done, they can get it done. No matter what.
I know I can. And I do.
But you know, whether they are doing it on purpose or they do it because that's what other people are doing or maybe they just dont care, the end result is the same.
I guess I cant really blame anyone. No one will take responsibility. I'll just end up being the asshole. I won't even know how.
So fuck it, it's time to change my environment again.
Fuck Puerto Ricans and sheep.
All my friends are assholes.
But it's okay, they don't do it on purpose ;D
=[
All I know is that if someone wants something done, they can get it done. No matter what.
I know I can. And I do.
But you know, whether they are doing it on purpose or they do it because that's what other people are doing or maybe they just dont care, the end result is the same.
I guess I cant really blame anyone. No one will take responsibility. I'll just end up being the asshole. I won't even know how.
So fuck it, it's time to change my environment again.
Fuck Puerto Ricans and sheep.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I Hate You Dr. Phil
All right, here's the problem with talking about your feelings.
Feelings don't last forever.
So here's what happens.
You're having the shittiest day, and everything is annoying you, even the smallest things. So what do you do? You rant about it to just about anyone that will listen. You say things you don't mean and things you never would say. What happens after that?
Well the person listening to it doesn't realize you're having a bad day. They think you seriously have a problem with who or whatever you're talking about. So what do these people do?
They suddenly become mediators and become a Dr. Phil. They think they can solve EVERYTHING. They tell everything you said to the person you're talking about. If any of you guys played the game "telephone" you will understand what I'm talking about.
This "Dr.Phil" starts to paraphrase everything you said. They don't include the fact that you were having a bad day. They don't tell the person stuff you said before whatever it is they are telling them. And guess what happens next?
The person you were talking "shit" about is fucking angry. They think "WTF! Why is Tim being such a bitch about such a small thing. Why is he talking shit about me behind my back. I fucking hate that guy. [Include rest of rant here]"
And here I am. Just sipping on my milk the next day. All the angry feelings I had yesterday is gone. I don't hate anyone. I realize all the things I rant about yesterday was stupid and dumb. I didn't mean any of it. Life goes on, right?
NOPE
The person I was talking about in my rant starts to act passive aggressive towards me as if I killed his first born son. There's going to be friction between me and this person for a long time. Why a long time?
Because he's not going to confront me about what he heard me say and I'm not going to confront him about what I said because I have no clue he even heard it. I thought the person I told would keep it a secret, I didn't know she was going to turn Dr. Phil on me.
Yup. That's my story. It happened to me so many times that it's no longer funny. What is the moral of the story?
I have no clue, but a couple things I learned is: don't talk about my feelings to anyone; if i had to talk about my feelings, either talk to someone you KNOW will not try to fix it.
It's hard to find these people because almost everyone wants to "fix" things, too bad they always end up messing it up. =/
Oh also, to the people who listen to other people's problem. Please don't try to fix the situation by yourself. I mean, sometimes when people rant, they just want someone to hear it, that way they can get their feelings out and move on. But if you INSIST on making things better, PLEASE just set up a meeting of some sort between the two people. 9/10 times, you will probably mess up the meaning of the whole thing and make the situation way worse!
"Gossip is the worst poison we can spread."
TisforTimothy!
Feelings don't last forever.
So here's what happens.
You're having the shittiest day, and everything is annoying you, even the smallest things. So what do you do? You rant about it to just about anyone that will listen. You say things you don't mean and things you never would say. What happens after that?
Well the person listening to it doesn't realize you're having a bad day. They think you seriously have a problem with who or whatever you're talking about. So what do these people do?
They suddenly become mediators and become a Dr. Phil. They think they can solve EVERYTHING. They tell everything you said to the person you're talking about. If any of you guys played the game "telephone" you will understand what I'm talking about.
This "Dr.Phil" starts to paraphrase everything you said. They don't include the fact that you were having a bad day. They don't tell the person stuff you said before whatever it is they are telling them. And guess what happens next?
The person you were talking "shit" about is fucking angry. They think "WTF! Why is Tim being such a bitch about such a small thing. Why is he talking shit about me behind my back. I fucking hate that guy. [Include rest of rant here]"
And here I am. Just sipping on my milk the next day. All the angry feelings I had yesterday is gone. I don't hate anyone. I realize all the things I rant about yesterday was stupid and dumb. I didn't mean any of it. Life goes on, right?
NOPE
The person I was talking about in my rant starts to act passive aggressive towards me as if I killed his first born son. There's going to be friction between me and this person for a long time. Why a long time?
Because he's not going to confront me about what he heard me say and I'm not going to confront him about what I said because I have no clue he even heard it. I thought the person I told would keep it a secret, I didn't know she was going to turn Dr. Phil on me.
Yup. That's my story. It happened to me so many times that it's no longer funny. What is the moral of the story?
I have no clue, but a couple things I learned is: don't talk about my feelings to anyone; if i had to talk about my feelings, either talk to someone you KNOW will not try to fix it.
It's hard to find these people because almost everyone wants to "fix" things, too bad they always end up messing it up. =/
Oh also, to the people who listen to other people's problem. Please don't try to fix the situation by yourself. I mean, sometimes when people rant, they just want someone to hear it, that way they can get their feelings out and move on. But if you INSIST on making things better, PLEASE just set up a meeting of some sort between the two people. 9/10 times, you will probably mess up the meaning of the whole thing and make the situation way worse!
"Gossip is the worst poison we can spread."
TisforTimothy!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Nice to meet you :]
Hi, my name is Timothy.
I'm a great listener.
I try to give the best advice whenever I can.
If you had a terrible day, I would always be there trying to make you smile.
If someone is a jerk towards you, I'll be there to get you out of the situation.
I am very open minded and will take in all advice/criticism.
If I think there is something wrong with you, I'll probably be the first person to tell you.
If you told me something, no matter how private or public, I will never tell anyone else.
I have to admit though, I am a little complicated. I don't like a lot of things.
I don't care what anybody thinks about me.
I have never met someone that completely understood me.
I'm a great listener.
I try to give the best advice whenever I can.
If you had a terrible day, I would always be there trying to make you smile.
If someone is a jerk towards you, I'll be there to get you out of the situation.
I am very open minded and will take in all advice/criticism.
If I think there is something wrong with you, I'll probably be the first person to tell you.
If you told me something, no matter how private or public, I will never tell anyone else.
I have to admit though, I am a little complicated. I don't like a lot of things.
I don't care what anybody thinks about me.
I have never met someone that completely understood me.
That's how I want people see me as soon as I meet them. Unfortunately, that's not how it works.
Instead I have to dress a certain way. I have to talk a certain way. I have to act a certain way. I have to do a lot of things to try to demonstrate who I am on the inside. Because the truth is, people judge. People will judge you the moment they meet you.
And sometimes when people start doing things a certain way, they change on the inside. They no longer are what they were. They become so wrapped up in pretending to be someone else in order to attract others. This evidently, end up pushing them away.
Why do people do this?
Why do people do things to show that they are interesting?
Why do some people walk around with a guitar but cannot play it?
Because these people know that most people will not notice who they are on the inside unless they change themselves on the outside.
Someone said this to me
Well, it's not that I want people to like me just because I play the guitar, I want people to notice me and maybe like me once they get to know me. Unfortunately, most people won't notice others unless they are flashy.
Luckily, I know that someone out there will notice and like another person for who they are. This is the person you want to be with, not people who will only like you for a certain reason. So don't pretend to be someone else, because when you do, you risk changing who you are.
Unfortunately, not all of us are able to find this person that will like us for who we are.
But if you do, you better fucking fight for it.
I know I would.
Oh, don't forget
TisforTimothy =]
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